I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I have feelings that need drinking.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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