one two three fourrrrnication!
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
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