You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
