She's JV to your varsity
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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