I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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