Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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