well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
