Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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