Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
