ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
