can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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