You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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