hotel room ftw
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
