So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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