are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
