Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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