make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
