Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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