If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
