Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
