Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The air was thick with penises
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize