I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm always down for nudity.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
