Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
