I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
