Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
