i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
