9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
