I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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