Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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