I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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