you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
