i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
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i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
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Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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