Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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