i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
