hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize
