Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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