You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
