ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
