Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
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