Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
