You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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