You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
