he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
