We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
