Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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