Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize