summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
