Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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