btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
