Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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