you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
