Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
