Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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