It's Friday. Sex?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
there was a trapeze. enough said
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
