Apparently you make a good broom.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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