so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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