GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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