the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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