i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
